Monday, January 29, 2007
*Crying*
I am so upset right now. I feel like such a big fat loser. I have been upset all day about my weight, and all kinds of other things.
When I look in the mirror, I am so disgusted. I hate the way I look. I hate looking at myself. I hate going to the store and shopping for clothes. All the nice clothes are for people whose clothing sizes are single digits. When I was a size 7, the only problem I had with shopping was the item I wanted to buy being sold out. Now, I have a much smaller selection. Now, I know that there are a lot of people who will say, "Then go on a diet." Well, I am on a diet. But I have 80 lbs to lose before I'll be comfortable in my body. I feel like that will take forever. In the meantime, I have to be fat. I hate it.
Then I have been depressed over all of the things that I missed in high school. All the homecomings (dances and games), winter balls, Prom. I have been trying to find a way to get over it, but nothing works. I even searched for Virtual Prom online. But no. Can you believe they have Virtual Weddings but no Virtual Proms? My husband suggested that we have our own prom, but how?
I suck.
Labels: Depression, dieting
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